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» More articles on Anti-Chivalry
Feminism & Chivalry-Now EmptyFri Feb 24, 2017 4:57 pm by Fables

» Article Against Chivlary
Feminism & Chivalry-Now EmptyTue Jan 03, 2017 9:15 pm by Fables

» Brining in new articles on Chivalry
Feminism & Chivalry-Now EmptyThu Dec 29, 2016 11:12 am by Fables

» Hello and Welcome to Chivalry Now
Feminism & Chivalry-Now EmptyFri Nov 25, 2016 6:08 am by Braveheart

» Some Things I tell myself to keep me sane.
Feminism & Chivalry-Now EmptyMon Oct 17, 2016 4:18 pm by Christopher Warren

» Current political season.
Feminism & Chivalry-Now EmptyMon Oct 17, 2016 3:44 pm by Christopher Warren

» What about Chivalry is attractive to you?
Feminism & Chivalry-Now EmptyFri Aug 26, 2016 9:39 am by Dean Jacques

» Introduction
Feminism & Chivalry-Now EmptyTue Aug 16, 2016 9:07 am by Braveheart

» The Shadow-side of Male Virtue
Feminism & Chivalry-Now EmptyWed Aug 03, 2016 1:33 pm by Dean Jacques

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Feminism & Chivalry-Now

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Feminism & Chivalry-Now Empty Feminism & Chivalry-Now

Post by Dean Jacques Thu Dec 10, 2015 5:47 am

Feminism & Chivalry-Now

It's been suggested that Chivalry-Now is the male version of feminism.
The idea certainly has merit. Like feminism, we seek to improve life for everyone by dealing with gender-related issues. We merely approach from opposite sides of the spectrum.
Admitting such similarities might raise hackles on people who hold negative views of feminism. To clarify this, the feminism I refer to is the one that supports gender equality under the law for the good of all people.
Images of radical, male-bashing extremists have long been used to give the wider scope of feminism a bad name. The media and political leaders quote off-the-wall extremists in order to generate the needless contention that they thrive on.
The feminist movement reached it heyday during the Viet Nam War protests and the Hippie movement of the 1960s. All three were lumped together by the media and the fact that there was some overlapping concern among proponents. Defenders of the status quo took advantage of this hodge-podge of protest to make sure that whatever truth they represented look radical. This tainted feminism in the eyes of many, even today.
We would like to make clear that Chivalry-Now has no connection with the free-love, drug-infested, anti-war movements of the 60s and early 70s. We have no connection to those who represented the status quo either. To illustrate, we provide the following summations:

There should be no question that women and men are equal under the law, and treated according to their individual value. If that is the feminist agenda of today, we are in complete accord. Beyond that recognition, the lives of women are their own. They are as responsible for their own destinies as men are. We help assure their rights and freedom, as they assure ours, through respect and harmonious relationships.
Love is an important principle that we need to propagate. The so-called "free-love" of the 60s and 70s, however, wasn't love at all - just a catch-phrase for license and rebellion.
Drugs and alcohol ruin people's lives, along with the lives of their loved ones, and should be avoided as a rational, individual decision. Intoxication always puts honor at risk.
Anti-war movements often project a very shallow moral posture that blinds participants to the consequences of what they espouse. When loud contention replaces reason, it becomes counterproductive, furthering the divide by solidifying factions.
On the other hand, supporting war for the sake of nationalistic or so-called "patriotic" pride disavows our responsibility as mature, free-thinking, morally-patriotic citizens. War is not a high school football game or business strategy. People die, while others commit themselves to revenge. The reasons for a just war have to be exceptional.

Chivalry-Now may seem difficult to judge because it harkens back to far earlier times, while incorporating today's wisdom as well. When we speak of love, peace and equal rights, our words are not rooted in the turbulent 60s and 70s, but in the spirit likened to the Age of Reason, from which freedom and democracy gained their precarious foothold.
Chivalry-Now must never be an excuse for ego satisfaction, or a ploy to attract women, or a cover for other forms of license. Our integrity bears no alliance to liberalism or conservatism, but only to truth and human compassion. We don't seek power-hungry advocates, thrilled by the influence they hold over their listeners. That's for television pulpits. We don't reduce our principles to slogans that lose the true depth of their precious meaning. That's for political consultants. We avoid all such tendencies as variations of greed.
With all this in mind, we place preconceptions aside and approach feminism from where we stand, with open minds and hopeful hearts.
I've read blogs where men express contempt for feminism, and do so in the name of chivalry! While harshly accusing the women's movement of destroying chivalry, they say things like: "if women want to be the equal of men they should…"
Such words not only imply that women are not equal with men, but that equality is something that can be earned if women only submit to male judgment!
Their idea of equality makes no sense. Are all men equal among themselves? Are all men strong and honest and self-disciplined? Do they all labor to the best of their ability? Do they share the exact same interests or political views? Of course not. Yet defenders of misogyny build fictitious walls of homogeneity around the male gender, while holding women to what amounts to higher standards.
As for destroying chivalry, what kind of chivalry is so easily destroyed? Was it flourishing in the 1950s? Or 40s? Could a movement demanding equal rights for women destroy male ethics, already built on equal rights? Only men destroy that lineage of chivalry through decades of neglect, propagated by the cultural migration of the Industrial Revolution.
We all hold human differences. Some express themselves to varying degrees in each gender, but not exclusively. We have masculine women, feminine males, and a whole gamut of variations in between.
If we learn anything from the polarization of politics, it's that extreme views propagate their opposite on the other side, each contending outrageously instead of finding common ground. The extreme misogynist and the man-hating feminist are both related and dependent upon each other in this regard. They depend on each other for their blind anger and discontent, while the rest of us shake our heads in remorse.
Dean Jacques
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Feminism & Chivalry-Now Empty Re: Feminism & Chivalry-Now

Post by Fables Thu Dec 31, 2015 8:06 pm

Thank you very much for this article.  I have actually read articles on both sides of the chivalry debate and it is very much like you said. As for the feminism and chivalry, from what i read in several feminist articles is the basic mentality is that chivalry is sexist only it is benevolent sexism an concept that treats women favorable but also implies that they are weak,helpless and incompetent and in dire need of male protection and therefore it reinforces inequality of women. Even the idea of opening and holding a door for a lady or offering to help her with carrying heavy items can be deemed patronizing.  

Because of these ideals, is part of the reason male chivalry is decreasing as poll have suggested that more men these days are less likely to open and hold the door for her, help her carry baby pram, or heavy luggage, give up his seat to her on public transportation out of fear of offending women.  Some men even claimed of receiving nasty behavior from women when they do hold the door or even stand for them on public transportation and have since sworn off repeating such gestures in the future. Then on the other side of the spectrum, are many women complaining of the lack of chivalry from males and insist they love and appreciate such gestures when they received it, but most of their examples only referred to having doors held for them which is just common courtesy that applies to all people.

Maybe the real problem is most people think of chivalry as only old fashioned gentlemen gestures known as courtly love or dating etiquette that includes opening the door for lady, pulling out her chair, helping her with her coat, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, etc.  Another problem is that can't separate chivalry with feminism as they were equality as view men and women completely or almost completely the same and downplaying the gender distinctions.  The third problem is since the post-feminist society, some of today's feminist mentality is to look for hidden sexism in any traditional element that doesn't hold to their definition of equality which is to advocate sameness.  Meaning women shouldn't be viewed any different to man on any level including personal lives or else it's sexist no matter the situation. Yet, many feminists advocate maternity leave, laws that protect women against violence, abortion rights etc.  I don't want to get political but having researched and reviewed the origins of feminism, chivalry and benevolent prejudices, I would like to take the time to give a definition to each.  

Feminism: a social ideology that supports women having equal political, economic, and social rights with women in time where women were once denied these basic rights. Gender equality: women and men being regarded as equal in value, worth in personhood, equal respect, having equality under the law, access and opportunities in employment, education, health care, etc. Equal personal responsibilities to ones life.  Chivalry: a knightly code that installs honor, courage, gallantry, mercy and fairness. Defending and protecting the weaker members of society and the oppressed. Showing honor, courtesy and gallantry towards women who were considered the fairer sex.  Having looked up all these definitions, convinces me even more of misguided some of the many feminists and other groups who are anti-chivalry are as these principles do not oppress women, hold them back in an unequal status and life and certainly doesn't patronize or enforce male superiority or male power which is most popular radical feminist argument many have made.  

The modern version of chivalry can hold some of the principles of the pass that actually increases respect and equality of women by combating chauvinism and misogyny, giving honor to women as equal in value has human beings and defending their equal rights in society and object to any discrimination on their behalf. As for male protection, many women rebuff the attitude that they are weak and helpless and always require male protection with good reason however, ignoring certain gender distinctions that may put women at a disadvantage and a more vulnerable state doesn't do any good to promote gender equality, it just promotes a lack of gallantry,aid or assistance that may be necessary and beneficial to women. There is such of thing as being logical and practical when it comes to certain chivalrous courtesies such as men assisting women in carrying heavy items rather than let her struggle in the misguided notion of equality or walking her to car late at night, seeing her safely home at nights, giving up seats to pregnant women, coming to her aid when she is being harassed or even assaulted.  Of course, some of these rules could apply to anyone may require aid and protection but the remains is women can be more vulnerable in certain situations due to different physical stature and men may want to take that into consideration.

In regards to the romantic atmosphere, certain courtesies and gestures can still apply in which men shower women out of a way to treat her special,to woo her, express his affection for her and just give her honor as a woman in a tradition that has been revered that consist of gentlemen values by treating her like a lady.  If more women and men really understood the meanings of chivalry and equality as I expressed them, then maybe the could let go of this chivalry vs. equality debate and come to the realization that both can co-exist in the 21st century.  Sorry about the long rant but I just wanted to put it all out there. Thanks again.

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Post by Dean Jacques Sat Jan 02, 2016 6:44 am

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. The situation certainly is complicated, as you summarize quite well.

This should come as no surprise. Whenever significant social change is in the making, it provokes a wide range of reactions. Culturally recognizing the equality of women represents a huge one. Some people end up taking extremist positions while others panic as if the sky is falling. As time passes, we all adapt and are hopefully closer to the realization o four ideals.

Some men blame women for the decline of chivalry. I do not. It was in decline long before feminism, to the point where it had become a rather shallow display of manners that could indeed be used to support seism. Instead of being a complete philosophy that adjusts with the times, it became associated with men who employed it superficially. When it did not get them what they wanted, they blamed women and discarded it. They failed to realize that chivalry is not supposed to be an act to be performed as long as it gets them what they want, but rather a way of life that completes them as men. No wonder women became suspect of chivalry’s value. Men failed to express it corrected.

A truly chivalrous man, in my opinion, is open to and even supportive of feminism. That’s because chivalry is about justice, and that naturally includes equality. He will find ways of being genuinely courteous and supportive in such a way that it forms real relationships between complete men and complete women.

I think that the man who is ready, willing and able to discard chivalry because some extremist criticized him, never understood or believed in chivalry to begin with. It becomes an excuse to embrace cultural laziness.

Chivalry-Now hopes to change that.

Dean, KCN
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Feminism & Chivalry-Now Empty Re: Feminism & Chivalry-Now

Post by Fables Mon Jan 04, 2016 5:55 pm

I so totally agree with your points. Especially about men who use chivalry to get them what they want. I have read comments from men who have actually stated they have giving up on chivalry meaning gentlemen gestures because it didn't get them anywhere with women, or saying they will be a gentlemen only when it gets them what they want mainly women submitting to their will or male fantasy and I figured they weren't really chivalrous at all in the first place because true chivalry comes from the heart not an act and show to score points with women. I also forget to explain the definition of benevolent prejudice which is an positive beliefs of a certain group that still results in keeping them in an inferior position. With women, it's the need to put them on a pedestal while still keeping them on inequal standing by regarding them weak, too emotional incapable and the need of protection. By as I mentioned before, male chivalrous attitudes towards women these days should have nothing to do of regarding women inferior but while viewing them on equal standing with men in worth, value and in society while taking into certain consideration on areas where they are more vulnerable or disadvantaged examples include weaker physical strength or more vulnerable situation and not take advantage but instead aid or protect when necessary. Thanks again.

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Post by Dean Jacques Wed Jan 06, 2016 11:56 am

My pleasure.

The men you refer to who complain that chivalry is not getting them what they want are the very men that feminists complain about. Chivalry is a way of life, not an act to be used only when convenient. Women can sense when a courtesy is real or not.

Dean, KCN
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