International Fellowship of Chivalry-Now
Who is online?
In total there are 2 users online :: 0 Registered, 0 Hidden and 2 Guests

None

[ View the whole list ]


Most users ever online was 24 on Tue Dec 22, 2015 7:19 am
February 2017
SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728    

Calendar Calendar

Keywords

women  

Latest topics
» Article Against Chivlary
Tue Jan 03, 2017 9:15 pm by Fables

» Brining in new articles on Chivalry
Thu Dec 29, 2016 11:12 am by Fables

» Hello and Welcome to Chivalry Now
Fri Nov 25, 2016 6:08 am by Braveheart

» Some Things I tell myself to keep me sane.
Mon Oct 17, 2016 4:18 pm by Christopher Warren

» Current political season.
Mon Oct 17, 2016 3:44 pm by Christopher Warren

» What about Chivalry is attractive to you?
Fri Aug 26, 2016 9:39 am by dean jacques

» Introduction
Tue Aug 16, 2016 9:07 am by Braveheart

» The Shadow-side of Male Virtue
Wed Aug 03, 2016 1:33 pm by dean jacques

» Warrior Ethic vs. Fear
Thu Jun 23, 2016 8:36 am by Butch Hendricks

Affiliates

free forum

Forumotion on Facebook Forumotion on Twitter Forumotion on YouTube Forumotion on Google+


The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

View previous topic View next topic Go down

The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

Post by dean jacques on Thu Dec 10, 2015 5:39 am

The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

There is a wild side to man's nature. Unpredictable. Savage. Easily frustrated and angered. We are taught from an early age to repress this part of us as something uncivilized and undesirable. Those of us who respect the law discipline ourselves to reject it. We go on with life ignoring what tendencies remain, channeling the overflow of aggression into "appropriate" conduits, such as ruthless competition in sports or business.
But in truth, the dark side of masculinity is never really gone or completely subdued. It follows us like a "shadow" (which C.G. Jung labeled it), dark and indescribable. Like a real shadow, it projects and distorts who we are.
This is our personal darkness, filled with savagery we try not to recognize.
It haunts us when we least suspect it—an angry phantom from our primitive core, maligned by moral propaganda, marginalized by repression.
This frustrated shadow can subvert our best intentions—not because it is evil, but because we continually thwart its existence. We deny its proper role in our lives, and view it as uncivilized, something "bad." In effect, we provoke its rebellious discontent by shaping it into a monster when it might have been shaped into something different.
This shadow is part of who we are as men. Without it, the chivalry we embrace becomes salt that has lost its flavor, an empty shell of moral dictates devoid of essence.
Our shadow provides male virtue with the tension of having one foot in heaven and the other not in hell but here on earth. Its wildness defines our core. Without it, our personal self-discipline is meaningless, our strength inauthentic, our connection to the earth, which is our Mother, broken. We become the disappointment of heaven's grand design, severed from our roots, sapped of our virility.
The shadow is an essential element to our every thought and deed as men. As such, it either substantiates or perverts our best intentions, depending on how we relate to it. It is that unrefined edge that distinguishes us from women, no matter how refined we shape ourselves. It connects us to nature. Without it, we are limpid, emasculated, not really alive. To the other extreme, when we fail to give it its proper role, we become discontent, brazen, uncontrollable, perverting the virtues we are meant to honor.
When we deny our shadow, we urge it to wreck havoc with our lives. We wrestle with it, try to subdue it, only to learn that the struggle never ends. In this respect, the shadow always wins, but only as a dark influence rather than something that completes us. We cannot suppress it without losing the very heart of who we are.
Chivalry, despite its refining virtues, directs us to embrace the wild center of who we are, recognize its intrinsic value, honor it not as an aberration, but as a natural source of male energy which borders (as all things of nature do) on amorality. It is here where the ideal warrior is fashioned in our hearts.
Chivalry cannot eliminate or tame this wild excess of spontaneity, and does not try. Instead, it channels it throughout every fiber of our being, melds it to everything we do—and in the processing of doing so makes us whole.
The wildness is self-destructive only when we reject it or hold it at arm's length. By infusing it into our lives, it nourishes the soul like nothing else can. Our shadow is not a thing of evil and perversion— although untended, it can produce both. We need this shadow to be complete, and it needs us as well.
It is imperative for us to find our shadows and integrate them into our lives. We might not be pleased what we find but remember, this is result of pure neglect.
Embrace him. Rescue him. And he will rescue you.
There are several ways to do this. The simplest is through ritual, whereby we recognize and honor the wild man as a valuable part of who we are. Jung tells us that ritual is enough to heal the rift—the turbulence of the unconscious mind really asks for nothing more. We can add this ritual to our embrace of chivalry.
The following is a short ritual to illustrate what I mean. Although it involves a sword as a ritual object, which is meaningful to me, you can and should build your own ritual as it best applies to you.

Dialog with my Shadow

Dark Man of my soul,

It is you I honor, you from whom all the energy of manhood originates and resides. I value the honesty of your feelings, rooted in the earth and in battle and in the hunt. Your anger is profound. Your need for action true. I applaud your sense of outrage and need for justice. Without them, where would we be? The dragons of our existence thrive without you to combat them. You embolden me to walk free, and live by my own code. You are my father and brother and truest friend.

This sword symbolizes who you are—what you mean to me and to the world. Strength. Action. Defense. The ability to cut away illusion. It represents the history of men, blood spilt on the battlefield, which connects us all together.

Stay with me. Take your honored place in my soul and in my life. Strengthen me with your power, and guide me with your earthy wisdom.

dean jacques
Council Knight Administrator,
Council Knight Administrator,

Posts : 110
Join date : 2015-12-08
Location : Connecticut, USA

View user profile http://www.chivalrynow.net

Back to top Go down

Re: The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

Post by Fireball on Mon Dec 14, 2015 1:02 pm

As I understand it, many of the, at least Greek gods, were actually part of every personality. Ares the god of war shows up as the male attribute of violence and aggression. Men would give sacrifices to appease Ares so he didn't show up inopportunely. In one way this makes sense as I have been a martial art guy and soldier most of my life. Without considering it really as such, but understanding the psychology, I appease Ares regularly. Many times people say they aren't going to piss me off, thinking of how dangerous I must be, but I tell them honestly, that I have the longest fuse of any that I know. The reason may well be that I appease this part of my personality regularly and live in such a state of readiness that I know when not to go berserk. Making a life-long study of strategy, I categorize intimidation tactics and see people winding themselves up emotionally (something that I don't need to do). Seeing clearly without the veil of emotion, I don't get wrapped up into it. If I must move or take a stand it is with full knowledge of the repercussions that I do so. Ares does not take control, but rather I take control with thoughtful premonition. I make myself the eye of the hurricane. Calm, at peace among the torrential storms about me. When I move, destruction may follow in my wake, if I only I but choose it to be so. I pity my brother that gets wrapped in an emotional whirlwind and rather than attempt to squash it, I allow for him to disperse his energy uselessly. I say this without conceit, but rather I would like to make a thoughtful difference, if what I say strikes a chord, to take up the empty hand fighting or even sword practice to understand the peace of the warrior.

_________________
HONOR and VALOR

Fireball
Council Knight
Council Knight

Posts : 3
Join date : 2015-12-13
Location : Sarasota Florida

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

Post by WarriorKSA1991 on Fri Jun 24, 2016 4:27 pm

Simply wish to commen regarding personal experience with the "dark side" of my own manhood.

Yes, it is certainly a piece of every man's nature. But as such, I therefore do not feel it needs to be "swept under the rug" or hidden - just controlled as needed to maintain civility.

That said, I have an EXTEMELY exaggerated response to any and all dangers. I.e., if surprised from behind in a public place, I immediately turn to confront the threat I sense, but with ONLY appropriate force. That force can range from a stern word to a gunshot, or multiple magazines of gun shots....it simply depends what is required to stop a threat.
This response, on my part, is resultant of martial arts training as a young man, but completely released, and encouraged, in service to country. This is in no way a "brag," just the truth: IF I must respond to a threat with deadly force, it happens automatically, and the probability of my heart rate increasing even 1BPM is slim to none. I mean, if my own life, or especially that of a family member, or an innocent, is threatened, why on earth would I get worked up about handling the threat, whether it includes having to end life or not?? Of course in war time, it was simply a given, which conditioned me to be more matter-of-fact about such things. But, in the civilian world,there are soooo very many people that just do not "get it" about someone who can apply deadly force effectively, and with zero remorse. Again, if I am forced to respond in such a manner, I did not choose to do so, but it was a result of someone else behaving aggressively towards an innocent or myself.

I am perfectly comfortable with primal response such as this, and feel that deep down, every man can be, if they are not already.

Further, it seems only logical that we are built to survive. Throughout history, men have been the key factors in the survival of themselves, their family units, cities, countries, and mankind in general. We do as we must, and that is indeed part of our being. The bad stuff happens only when a man hasn't the sense enough to determine, very quickly, what "appropriate force" is. It takes training, time, and discipline, and rather than we, or anyone else, repressing that, it should be lauded and encouraged.

Guess that's the best summation I can give of personal feelings on our "dark side." Just do not see it as "dark" at all, but a vital necessity that works in conjunction with our mind, body, and spirit. As Knights,. We are on a quest, and there is a goal. If survival is required, I deem it chivalrous do survive in any way necessary.

Okay, there's my puny $0.02 !
~Sgt Smiddy


WarriorKSA1991
Page
Page

Posts : 7
Join date : 2016-06-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

Post by Butch Hendricks on Tue Jun 28, 2016 10:41 am

An interesting conversation.

My thoughts, for what they are worth. I have observed, over the last few decades, that men are called out for displaying the shadowy side. As has been mentioned before, this is a vital part of who we are. We need to repress this behavior, or compose ourselves a certain way. Either to be more socially acceptable, or to be more considerate of the women in our lives. This is little more than the de-masculinization (sorry, I probably made that word up lol) of our gender. Personally, I utterly reject this thinking. As I'm sure is true with most or all of you, I have worked very hard to be a good man. And for those that know me best, they know that I've spent the bulk of my live searching for a path that works for me. At least for myself, I have found that path. It is a great deal of chivalry, mixed with what I have named becoming a "Wolf of the Heart." I have tempered the anger and aggression with the compassion and consideration of being a knight. I won't go much in depth here, but it works for me. If there is interest, I can post more about it later.

The point of this is that we need to embrace all parts of what it means to be us, as individuals, as men, as chivalric knights. I like to think that I am an example of what that can be. As with so much of what we do here, it requires a journey inside ourselves. Discover who we are. Embrace it and show it without fear. After all, remember the knights we so admire and strive to emulate, were also warriors capable of incredible violence. Those same drives are in each of us. Now is the time to recognize and embrace that part of ourselves. Thoughts?

Butch KCN the "Wolf Knight"

Butch Hendricks
Knight
Knight

Posts : 26
Join date : 2015-12-20

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

Post by WarriorKSA1991 on Tue Jun 28, 2016 12:24 pm

Yes, I do have just a few thoughts on this, and would dearly love to keep this particular conversation going.

Consider the man, Chris Kyle, a Navy SEAL. If you have seen the movie, "American Sniper," then you will completely understand my perspective on our "dark" side.

In America, we indeed have a lot of folks who I consider "sheep" AKA "Sheeple." And, there is no shortage of wolves looking to devour the sheep.

We, as men of honor, I believe, are responsible for protecting others, as Chris put it, to be "Sheep Dogs." That is standard military talk for what we are talking about I think.

Not only must we protect our wives & other family members, I feel we are also responsible as men, to protect ALL innocents who may Abe under any type of attack by any type of predator in society.

This goes along with "appropriate force" mentioned earlier. We need only tame inappropriate responses I think. I also do not believe we should bend our manhood to be "politically correct," or in fear of what others may think of us.
I care little if my own chivalry and honor might offend someone who has no honor, or morals, integrity, etc. I care more that they see the example I try to set, and hopefully learn from it.

There's nothing "wrong" with being a man, and embracing all that it is. Therefore, whether it is having the class to hold the door for a lady, or worst case, utilizing whatever means at a our disposal to protect innocent lives, and our own,

I believe that God put our instincts in us for a reason, and that using them in an appropriate manner is simply what we should do. Certainly we are not to give in to inappropriate anger at silliness of others, but if the anger is justified, we are left with a choice. We can confront the situation with, well, hmmmm, I'll use the word "cajones." We got 'em, so it seems to me we ought to use them!

This discussion also calls to mind a quote, the author of whom I am not sure was H.D. Thoreau, or Walt Whitman: "Trust thine own self. Every heart vibrates to that iron string." That makes a lot of sense to me, simply because I personally know within a very short time if I am around a real man, or some school yard sissy sort of male. Which brings up my last point: Not all males are MEN, but all males can and should strive to be.

Personally, I want someone who remotely considers putting me in "defense mode" to realize just how much danger they would be putting themselves in. There's no need to display, or even carry a weapon, in order to achieve that. Presentation of one's self, general attitude about "things," and being able to "walk the walk," are but a few keys I think of now.

Ya All Take Care!
~Sgt Smiddy

WarriorKSA1991
Page
Page

Posts : 7
Join date : 2016-06-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

Post by Butch Hendricks on Tue Jun 28, 2016 5:08 pm

My thought has always been that it takes a wolf to kill a wolf. As you well know, there are moments when it takes men, skilled in the ways of extreme violence, to keep this country and its people safe. I have seen that some people, perhaps even most people, give lip service to the support of our military. They say "I support our troops, but I don't
support what they are doing." I can't even begin to understand that logic. In honesty, I don't even really try. The service I have provided, as with any military man or woman, has provided the safety and security to espouse such sentiments.

Butch KCN "Wolf Knight"

Butch Hendricks
Knight
Knight

Posts : 26
Join date : 2015-12-20

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

Post by WarriorKSA1991 on Tue Jun 28, 2016 6:06 pm

Totally get what your are saying about it taking a wolf to kill a wolf. So I propose you modify my sheepdog to a self-restrained wolf? At the core both have the same instincts, but on any given day, the wolf oeprates wholly on instinct, whereas the sheepdog does not attack randomly to get a meal, and certainly doesn't attack the sheep. Guess what I'm getting at is that yes, we can instantly turn into a wolf, but as humans, we also must be able to. Very quickly determine when that is necessary and proper to do. An example I am thinking of this: I carry two 45's everywhere it is legal to do so, and yes I am licensed, legal, (over)experienced, safe, etc. But when carrying, though I am a soldier in the civilian sector now, I'm a soldier in a holding pattern. Always vigilant, always prepared, but not shooting geese on the public roadway because I feel a bit hungry and they are convenient.....I hope this is making sense....I'll admit that I can be a bit silly sometimes!

But back to the main point - we all have that "wolf side" of us. And there is absolutely no problem with that. Our chivalrous style of living is what must dictate when we "cut the dog loose." And, if that dog is cut loose, then it should be a given that he will do as required to achieve a given goal/mission/whatever.

I am having some difficulty articulating what I am thinking I suppose, but hopefully this makes sense? I was just looking at a sheep-dog as a self-restrained wolf, which is how I personally view myself. Had I no morals, ethics, chivalry, etc., then I would be quite able to do great harm. But that is not our purpose. I guess I'm trying to say something to the effect of "we are deadly only on demand, as legally and morally justified."

Ok, I just thought of a "what if" for consideration: What if you were armed as you(?) are all the time. You walk into your home, and you know your wife is upstairs because her car is outside. You hear some noise up there and head up to investigate. You open your bedroom door, and there is a guy having relations with your spouse. What would YOU do?? I know what I would do, and many people would not like to hear that, but I'm asking this question. I'll respond as to what my inner wolf does in such a situation....

Take care fellas

~Sgt Smiddy

People who say they support our troops but not what they are doing, are doing what I call "double talking." If they truly support our troops, then they support the mission of our troops, because that is what they have been trained, and called upon to do. Of course that doesn't mean they have to love the politicians who originate missions, but once the mission has been designated, then it has gone through the due process to make it in accord with our founding principles. At that point, politics and politicianns are simply no longer relevant. The troops and their mission are. So those people either need to support us and our mission, or admit the cowardice they harbor, at least the cowardice of stating what they really think. It's a cop-out phrase.


WarriorKSA1991
Page
Page

Posts : 7
Join date : 2016-06-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

Post by Butch Hendricks on Tue Jul 05, 2016 8:29 am

Speaking for myself, in honesty, I can't tell you what I would do. I can't say that I would draw a pistol "just to scare" either one of them. If you draw, you need to be prepared to fire with the intent to kill. I would confront them, then play it by ear after that.

And, for myself, I agree with the thought that if you say you support the troops, you best be prepared to support the mission, or it's just double talk.

Butch KCN

Butch Hendricks
Knight
Knight

Posts : 26
Join date : 2015-12-20

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

Post by Braveheart on Mon Jul 11, 2016 4:10 am

Dear Knights,

It was very interesting to read what you wrote.

I believe also in the role of Knights as "Sheepdogs" or Good Wolves to protect the innocent.

I try to ready myself for a situation in which I might be called to protect.

I strongly believe in the heroism of good soldiers, policemen and firemen and all those who put their life on the line and are prepared to defend the innocent and weak against an evil wolf...

Respectfully,

Michael Stahnke

"Three kinds of people in this world: Wolves Sheep and Sheepdogs. We didn't raise any sheep and I'll hit you if you turn into a wolf... The Sheepdogs have been blessed with the gift to protect the Sheep... "(American Sniper) Thank God we have men like Chris Kyle and you to keep our world safe

Braveheart
Page
Page

Posts : 19
Join date : 2015-12-23

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

Post by dean jacques on Sun Jul 24, 2016 5:39 pm

I agree with you, Michael.

Although I have no one to work out with, I still practice martial arts basics on a regular basis. I don't think I will ever use it in a self-defense situation, or to protect someone else, but I try to keep ready in case the situation rises.

I also reap the benefits of martial art exercises, and keep true to the martial component of Knighthood while doing so. I encourage all our fellows, if possible, to do likewise.

Dean, KCN

_________________
"I never knew how empty was my life, until it was filled."

dean jacques
Council Knight Administrator,
Council Knight Administrator,

Posts : 110
Join date : 2015-12-08
Location : Connecticut, USA

View user profile http://www.chivalrynow.net

Back to top Go down

Re: The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

Post by Braveheart on Wed Aug 03, 2016 4:09 am

Dear Sir Dean,

Chivalry-Now inspired me to take up Karate. I am now a yellow belt.

Now I hesitate between continuing karate or taking up judo.

Arete!

Respectfully,

Michael Stahnke

Braveheart
Page
Page

Posts : 19
Join date : 2015-12-23

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

Post by dean jacques on Wed Aug 03, 2016 1:33 pm

That's great to hear. I hope you enjoy it. Judo is great as well.

The martial arts are terrific way to keep in touch with the martial side of knighthood, and provide excellent exercise that you can continue the rest of your life. Like I said before, I still practice, and I'm 65 years old.

And who knows? you may need to use it someday to protect someone in need. It also adds to knightly confidence, and provides the self-discipline to walk away from trouble without feeling it is from fear.

Please keep me informed.

Your Brother Knight,

Dean, KCN

_________________
"I never knew how empty was my life, until it was filled."

dean jacques
Council Knight Administrator,
Council Knight Administrator,

Posts : 110
Join date : 2015-12-08
Location : Connecticut, USA

View user profile http://www.chivalrynow.net

Back to top Go down

Re: The Shadow-side of Male Virtue

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum